Wednesday, September 30, 2015

If I'm The Nats...

So this year the Nationals have collapsed and are an utter mess. It's actually quite amazing how they managed to lose the division that has three teams competing/losing on purpose for the first overall pick in the draft next year, to the Mets of all people.
As such I've constructed a list of things I'd do if I were in charge of the Nationals franchise. I made these with careful consideration and made sure I was as objective as possible (haha, yeah right).

05. Trade Stephen Strasburg to the Yankees for nothing

It is clear that Washington cannot get their potential-ace to turn into a "legit"-ace. Thus they should dump him onto the Yankees and let him be their problem.

04. Launch Jonathan Papelbon Into The Sun

I've spared you all the horrible fate of having to see crotch-grabber's face again. You're welcome.

03. Fire Matt Williams

Thanks again for the TTM return though

Somewhere out there Night Owl is smiling as his least favorite player has been the least efficient manager in the majors. Throughout the year I've heard and read a ton of complaints about how Williams is a piss-poor manager. It's to the point where it looks like 2015 Williams will be the latest cautionary tale of relying on managers who have little to no experience actually managing.

02. Trade Bryce Harper to the Yankees for cash considerations

One of my favorite Harper cards

There is an ongoing narrative that Bryce Harper is a "clubhouse cancer." If that's the case (I doubt it TBH), a change of scenery would do wonders for the 20-something who's handled various situations better than the people twice his age do. If I'm the Nationals I'm going to trade Harper to the Yankees for cash. That way Harper can "learn to play the game the right way" from the best team in the sport, and the Nats can send one final message to Harper that they didn't even think the MVP-caliber Harper was worth an actual player in a trade.

Also, the Nationals should totally send along Victor Robles as a PTBNL to the Yankees to sweeten the deal and make it worth the Yankees' while.

01. Move the team back to Montreal.

It is clear that these fools in Washington are a waste of our time. Send them back to Montreal for the sake of sending them back to Montreal.

And those are my top five suggestions for the Washington Nationals franchise going forward. I think these are sound suggestions that the Nationals front office should consider very heavily this offseason. And if you disagree, well, there's a reason you're not a GM.

As always thanks for stopping by and take care :).


  1. Can the Pirates have Rendon for Sean Rodriguez Mr. Fake GM?

    1. Why you'd want that oft-injured infielder is beyond me but you can have him for Luis Heredia. We'll even throw in Danny Espinosa.

  2. Fire Matt Williams and move the team to Montreal (notice I avoided all your Yankee suggestions).

    I've hated the Nationals since they blew the NLDS to the Giants thanks to a secret pact arranged between Williams and Bruce Bochy (word will get out someday, you just wait). Of course, now it seems that Williams is simply a lousy manager, which, as you deduced, warms my feathered heart.

    1. You're against launching Papelbon into the sun too?

      I don't think the Nats/Williams just gave the NLDS to the Giants. More like, Rizzo forgot to Williams-proof the bullpen.

  3. I am on board with everything. You are a true visionary.

    1. And to think I only got a D in my creative writing class back in the 6th grade!